Let Them Rest: The Overlooked Connection Between Sleep, Stress, and Mental Health

April is National Stress Awareness Month, a reminder to slow down, take a breath, and examine the toll that modern life takes on our mental well-being. In a world where burnout is often seen as a badge of honor, the simple act of resting—of sleeping well—is often overlooked, even though it's one of the most powerful tools we have to combat stress, sustain energy, growth and support our own mental health.

Recently, a book and concept called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins gained widespread attention for its empowering message of emotional detachment and inner peace. The core idea is simple yet liberating: if someone wants to behave a certain way—let them. It’s not your job to fix or overexplain. The phrase “let them” became a viral reminder that we don’t have to control everything. If someone wants to misunderstand you? Let them. If people choose chaos? Let them. That mindset of acceptance and release is particularly relevant when we think about stress and sleep. Maybe we also need to say: “Your body needs rest? Let it!”

The Vicious Cycle: Stress and Sleep

Stress and sleep have a complex, often circular relationship. When we’re stressed, our sleep suffers. When we don’t sleep, we become more susceptible to stress, anxiety, and even depression. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break.

According to the American Psychological Association, more than 60% of adults report that stress disrupts their sleep, and insomnia is one of the most common complaints among people with anxiety or depression. Simply put: the more stressed we are, the harder it becomes to get good sleep—and the worse our mental health becomes as a result.

What Happens When We Don’t Sleep

Sleep is not just a break from the day—it’s an active, essential process where the brain and body repair, regulate, and recharge.

Here’s what lack of sleep does to your mental state:

• Impairs emotional regulation: Without enough sleep, the brain struggles to process emotions effectively. You may feel more irritable, anxious, or easily overwhelmed.

• Increases cortisol, a stress hormone: Sleep deprivation raises cortisol levels, keeping your body in a state of “fight or flight” and amplifying stress responses.

• Reduces cognitive performance: Concentration, decision-making, and memory all decline when we’re sleep-deprived, which can make daily stressors feel even more unmanageable.

• Lowers resilience: Without adequate sleep, we’re more reactive, less patient, and less equipped to bounce back from life’s inevitable challenges.

The Role of Sleep in Mental Health

Good sleep is not just a luxury; it’s a mental health necessity. Research consistently shows a strong link between healthy sleep habits and improved mood, emotional balance, and overall psychological resilience.

Some key benefits of restorative sleep include:

• Stabilizing mood: Sleep helps regulate serotonin, a key neurotransmitter involved in mood stability. Poor sleep is a major risk factor for depression.

• Enhancing problem-solving and emotional processing: During REM sleep (the dream phase), the brain works through emotional experiences, helping us learn and heal.

• Lowering anxiety: Quality sleep helps deactivate the brain’s amygdala—the area responsible for the fight-or-flight response—reducing anxiety and panic responses.

Different Types of Stress and How They Affect Sleep

Stress is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It comes in many forms—some short-lived, some chronic—and each type can uniquely disrupt your sleep patterns and overall mental health.

1. Acute Stress

This is the type of stress that shows up suddenly—like an argument, traffic jam, or work presentation. It causes a fast spike in cortisol and adrenaline.

Effects on sleep:

• Trouble falling asleep due to racing thoughts

• Middle-of-the-night awakenings

• Restless or shallow sleep

Tip: Try journaling or deep breathing before bed to decompress your nervous system.

2. Chronic Stress

When stress is ongoing—like living with debt, job insecurity, or caregiving for a loved one—it wears down your resilience and physical health over time.

Effects on sleep:

• Insomnia or frequent waking

• Elevated cortisol at night

• Exhaustion despite time in bed

Tip: Long-term tools like therapy, boundary-setting, and regular routines can ease chronic tension and improve rest.

3. Emotional Stress

This includes grief, heartbreak, family conflict, or feelings of loneliness. Emotional stress often lingers quietly in the background.

Effects on sleep:

• Emotional rumination before bed

• Intense or vivid dreams

• Disrupted REM cycles

Tip: Writing, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend can help offload emotional heaviness.

4. Work or Performance Stress

Deadlines, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome can keep your brain in “go” mode even when the day is done.

Effects on sleep:

• Trouble mentally detaching from work

• Dreams about work problems

• Waking up too early

Tip: Create a digital cutoff time in the evening and stick to a “shutdown” ritual, like stretching or reading.

5. Anticipatory Stress

Worrying about a future event like a trip, interview, or confrontation leads to what-ifs that hijack your peace of mind.

Effects on sleep:

• Difficulty falling asleep

• Increased heart rate and restlessness

• Frequent waking or early morning anxiety

Tip: Try progressive muscle relaxation and visualizing positive outcomes instead of worst-case scenarios.

6. Trauma-Related Stress

Past trauma or PTSD can manifest as hypervigilance or night terrors that disrupt both falling and staying asleep.

Effects on sleep:

• Nightmares or flashbacks

• Fear of going to sleep

• Broken or fragmented sleep

Tip: Trauma-informed therapy is essential. Tools like weighted blankets, grounding techniques, and safety-based bedtime rituals can be helpful.

Sleep Hygiene: The Antidote to Stress?

While therapy, mindfulness, and medication all play vital roles in managing mental health, improving sleep is often the low-hanging fruit that gets overlooked. Creating and protecting a healthy sleep routine—often called sleep hygiene—is a powerful form of self-care.

Sleep Hygiene Basics

• Stick to a schedule: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day—even on weekends.

• Wind down wisely: Ditch screens, dim lights, read, stretch, or journal before bed.

• Limit stimulants: Avoid caffeine and alcohol later in the day.

• Keep your space sacred: Make your bedroom dark, cool, quiet, and screen-free.

• Reserve your bed for rest: Don’t work, scroll, or eat in bed—train your brain that bed = sleep.

Mindfulness and the Nervous System

Stress activates your sympathetic nervous system, putting your body into a state of “fight or flight.” Sleep is only possible when you activate the parasympathetic (rest and digest) system.

Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided meditations help your body shift into a sleep-friendly state.

Try this simple breathing technique:

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds

• Hold your breath for 4 seconds

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6–8 seconds

• Repeat for 2–3 minutes

This quiet act can help your mind settle into sleep mode.

Why “Letting Go” Helps You Sleep

The phrase “Let Them” is about emotional freedom. It's about letting people be who they are without needing to fix, explain, or control. That same grace can be extended inward: Let yourself rest. Let yourself release the day. Let yourself trust that it’s okay to not have all the answers by bedtime.

Sleep isn’t something you force. It’s something you allow.

The Cultural Stigma Around Rest

Western culture often glorifies the grind and devalues rest. Sleep becomes a luxury or something to “earn.” But research—and lived experience—shows that rest is a biological need, not a reward.

Instead of saying:

• “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” try “I’ll live better when I sleep.”

• “Push through,” try “Pause to recover.”

• “I’m fine,” try “I need rest.”

When to Seek Help

If sleep continues to be a challenge despite your best efforts, it might be time to speak with a healthcare provider. Sometimes sleep issues are symptoms of deeper mental health concerns or sleep disorders.

Consider reaching out if:

• You’re sleeping fewer than 5–6 hours consistently

• You rely on substances to fall asleep

• You wake up feeling just as tired

• Anxiety or depression are worsening

• Nightmares or racing thoughts keep you awake regularly

Final Thoughts: Let Them Rest. Let Yourself Rest.

As we recognize National Stress Awareness Month, let this be your gentle invitation to prioritize what’s often first to be sacrificed: your sleep.

The message behind Let Them isn’t just about stepping back from drama or expectations—it’s about protecting your peace. It’s about saying: I choose rest, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.

Let yourself be still. Let yourself rest. Let your mind breathe.